A Beggar from Valhalla

A Beggar from Valhalla


Illustration from the World Premier of “The Nine Tenets of Tomlinson & Jesse” Birmingham. UK.

A Beggar from Valhalla would make a lovely pet.

I’d dye its hair a shade of Green, its nails I would let grow.
I’d fly it free in-front of me, on ropes, and not let go.

I picked an Orange from Seville in Spain a year ago.
I made it legs and trained it well but still it’s walking slow.

A beggar from Valhalla would make a lovely pet.
I emailed Norse to send me one but haven’t got it yet.

P.P.S. v. S.P.P. (Peacocks Paradise Shrill v. Some Pretty Pics)

P.P.S. v. S.P.P. (Peacocks Paradise Shrill v. Some Pretty Pics)


Announcing the uncovering of another ‘Bird from GOD’
Were two ex-showroom car sales giants emitting sounds like smog.
A cornucopia of praise preceded what they found
As one sawed off the covers fast to get them to the ground.No show on Earth was quite that big – No bird made quite that sound
But as the saw progressed at pace they glared at what they foundA bloody splash!
A splatter drip!
The makers will get flack
This Model’s got a bloody fault
We’ll send the bugger back!

And so the Peacock left half wrapped was sadly left to drain
As sales teams swore and shifted stance, the Peacock died in pain

That night the cable news was on
And ‘Hubble’ showed its tricks
But both our Sales guys shrugged and said
“So what? Some pretty pics”!