Bringing about a change through alighting the real ‘Self’

Bringing about a change through kindling the real ‘Self'I read that :
“The root of low/ high self-esteem or negative/ positive self image is just a perceptual habit : people too often see themselves through other people’s eyes. “When other people treat them well, they feel good about themselves. When others treat them badly, they feel bad about themselves. This habit is so natural, and of such long-standing, that people who have it don’t even know they’ve got it.

This perceptual habit begins in childhood. Children focus outward. They look to others, especially parents, to see how they are doing and to guage what they should and should not be doing. Often enough, this habit never gets corrected and children grow into adulthood and continue to derive their sense of self from how other people treat them.

The problem with seeing ourselves through other people’s eyes is that it leaves us with no stable sense of self. What we need is a clear sense of self. We have to untangle who we are from how other people think and behave towards us.

These other people include not just our parents. In adolescence we become far more concerned about what our peers think of us. Meanwhile, our parents worry about what the neighbors are thinking.

Growing to the next level, emotionally and spiritually, takes moving beyond what other people think of us. This requires that we learn a way to see ourselves through our own eyes. It means replacing the perceptual habit that has been in place for a lifetime with a new one.”

The first step is to know all about yourself and what makes you tick. If you really ‘know’ already, then this stuff is not for your eyes, but if you do not know, then you would do well by starting on the journey to be in charge of your own horizon and thus the designer of your own path to that horizon as it will maximise your health of thought (and body).

I have the good fortune to have worked in-line with myself from an early age. The method used by my parents was a double edged one. The first edge was to tell me about the expectations of ‘others’ thus arming me to knit into communities, but the second edge was to help me to dominate myself and carve my tomorrows. To gain such a two edged approach, you need to be fortunate enough to have good influences around you.

Minds can be re-flexed in most cases, and through careful work, nearly everyone can re-claim themselves from any mask of opinion that might have been affixed to them by their past experiences. OK, the fixing glue may be strong – it can hurt to rip off the cast and it can be raw to face the world as ‘you’ without the back-up of the conditioning you have got to know, but the fresh breeze on the real you is great, uplifting and awakening. Friends and relatives however, may not appreciate the transformation so you need to care for their thoughts as you go for it.

There are thousands of ways “ahead”, and they can be through independent or regular / recognised routes. Some people like hypnotherapy or retreats, some just grab time for themselves or find that new people and new thinking helps – many groups exist to re-fresh the mind and re-spirit the ‘self’ and ‘self-worth’ of another.

It can be a major ‘change’; we all tackle changes through our lives from teen-time to menopause and beyond. It is useful to have an anchor ‘within’ that you can hold onto. This internal ‘secure fixing’ upon your ‘self’ is a steadying factor. To self-build this ‘anchor’ is useful but to go around with any sort of anchor that is not of your own making is detrimental and can hold back your voyage into many new territories and experiences. It is so useful to grab the inner you and live-it to the full – a freedom so few reach for and attain.

We work at the HoBB with many who travel this freeing journey. HoBB days are very interesting and varied as thankfully, there is no ‘set’ way and no specific route to gain ‘self’ and grow emotionally and spiritually – By definition, it varies with each individual.

A change will do you good and to be at the helm of your tomorrows’ direction will do wonders for you.

Grant Resident ‘spirit’ at the HoBB Gardens and Project House, UK.

Waves ~~~~~~~~~ <+))))))))>< ~~~ Grant

Garden Design a la HoBB

garden design a la HoBBThe HoBB Gardens are being cultured to provide a peaceful place for both thought and action. We are learning about the “Way of Plants” as we go and enjoying seeds, cuttings, clippings and of course, ‘eatings’.

“The wonderful thing about garden design is that everyone can do it. It doesn’t matter how little you know or how ham-fisted you may think you are, once you start, nature will pitch in too and together you can’t fail to create something beautiful.” (The Late Great ‘Geoff Hamilton’)

With Geoff Hamilton’s words spiriting us on, we got to work on the grassland. When we reached a botanical impasse we did web searches for information and lodged our questions on internet forums and yahoo groups like “Crazy Gardeners”.

We followed the straight and narrow and professed to know nothing about gardening until we got to know a lot more than we ever planned. However, we have been told that the real beauty of the HoBB Gardens has not grown up from any ‘how to do it’ book but from the unique ‘how we’ve done it’ method – watching the way plants cope, and ensuring the gardens are set in context with the surrounding hills.

If you are starting to plan a garden, don’t be too seduced by the ‘instant’ results depicted on some television programmes, as their aim is to produce ‘show gardens’ for the camera. It is worth getting to know your soil through four seasons and studying what grows well on your next door neighbours’ land. No planting mistakes are beyond redemption but it is better to save the plant, and your effort, time, dissappointment and money by planning your planting.

“And if you build a garden that delights the eye and brings joy to the hearts of those who visit, there’s absolutely no doubt that you have created a work of art”

Friends visit the HoBB Gardens to see progress but also to visit ‘their plants’. We are a home from home for plants that have out-grown their city habitats and for many that have been rescued from certain death in skips or dumped on tips. Sadly, with the ease of buying potted plant life comes the disease of letting them die and re-buying – maybe we should start the campaign : ‘A plant is for Life, not just for decor’.

‘A plant is for Life, not just for decor’ – Give unwanted plants a ‘new’ lease of life at The HoBB.
Promote the slogan and follow the action : We can receive most plants – by arragement. Please note we are a temporate zone and 850 foot above sea level in the UK!

There should be a Web Site all about the developing HoBB Gardens
Yes, true! We publish a list of the plants we are eager to find and have received many as gifts. and it would be great to have each located on an interactive online plan – then, as the seasons progress, international visitors to the web site, could see pictures of ‘their’ donated plants developing.

HELP PLEASE [Got the plan – need the inter-activity bit! …. Any software writer / seller willing to donate or help in this respect?]

We could even have links to plant donor, date of planting, name etc ….. so the site visitor can have a permanent link to their gift. Everyone cannot be local and visit the actual HoBB Gardens but we could create ‘Garden Trust Members’ and give out tickets to visit the Real Gardens, by arrangement. Ahhhhh, now that’s the problem with having a creative mind, an overwhelming passion to go that extra mile!

I have designed a few gardens for friends that have interesting sites such as ‘rubble yards with no soil’ , gaps between houses leading to shaded small patios, and flash flood plain gardens rich in food but under the wettest weather each year. I always like a challenge and producing a design for a location that needs very special thought is a wonderful way of learning. If you fancy a cave garden, a botanical grotto or something hanging, sunken or suspended on wires, it’s the sort of project I would really enjoy so tell me all about it!

Waves ~~~~~~ <+))))))))>< ~~~ Grant, bringing Art and Nature together