BRANCH TENET (Uncatalogued 2001) :
(Fort Tune Flight)

Calum, (nee Dour)  – big mogul o’er
the Planet’s Media scene,
researched to do the scoopiest scoop
– the biggest ever seen!

“I’ll make a million / coin a mint,
all in one afternoon,
– with telescope and camera
and ticket to Dunoon.”

Far off the shore, of Loch Needmoor,
as said a leaked Report,
a gene soup nest of escapees
were living in a fort.

Their leader was a bloke gone wrong,
the locals called Nar Whilly,
– a sheep-duck-man-duck-sheep back cross
who’d gone a little silly.

He loved his fellow creatures,
though little else was clear,
whatever brought him to this spot,
whatever keeps him here.

Calungi Dour upped anchor,
in his patchwork Quilt Balloon.
“I’ll make it ‘cross those waters,
if I rise above Fort Tune!”

But on that day, Nar Whilly Bang
was oot te bring him doon,
an’ in that watery deepy Loch
he wanted Dour te droon.

Wi’ Cannon Ball all Cherry Red
and recipes fer doom,
he was prepared te fight and win
te keep his shantytoon.

“Where would the one armed octopus
and two legged glow ball go,
if Dour came here and made the place
into a media show”?

And that’s the News this very hour
who’ll win we do not ken,
– we can’t collate tomorrow’s truth
through pictures, speech or pen.

If all put fortune on their path
For nowt but private gain,
that Cherry that we call ‘Tomorrow’s’ flawed
– so think again!


(Grant  1996)

From our original site on geocities now archived at http://www.oocities.org/hobb_it/entrer/home/9/fort_tune/fort_tune.html

A very big thank you to the following for their help and support
in putting together the 1996 launch exhibition of the Nine Tenets at Café Surf, Birmingham, UK :

The Priory Hospital                                     Rob Sharl and Charlotte Carey
Webster & Horsfall                                       Cleftbridge Coatings Ltd
Bill Houle                                                         Mark Pace
Tom Leonard (newwave/arts)                 Esther Nicklin
Jim Bottomley                                               Rob Ellis
Siobain Drury                                                 The Alcopop Book of Records
Raymond Rweyemann                               Steve at Creative FibreGlass
Helen Wallis (The Gardens)                      Jon (Mitch) Mitchell
Peter Scott (Image of Learning)              WoW – GREEN FLAG Events
Mandi Compton                                            Joyce Latham
Tom Houle                                                       Simon Levitt
Simon Mansfield                                           Dave Clarke Associates
Bill at Selly Oak Engineering


P.P.S.  v.  S.P.P.
(Peacocks Paradise Shrill v. Some Pretty Pics)

Announcing the uncovering of another ‘Bird from GOD’
Were two ex-showroom car sales giants emitting sounds like smog.
A cornucopia of praise preceded what they found
As one sawed off the covers fast to get them to the ground.

No show on Earth was quite that big – No bird made quite that sound
But as the saw progressed at pace they glared at what they found

A bloody splash!
A splatter drip!
The makers will get flack
This Model’s got a bloody fault
We’ll send the bugger back!

And so the Peacock left half wrapped was sadly left to drain
As sales teams swore and shifted stance, the Peacock died in pain

That night the cable news was on
And ‘Hubble’ showed its tricks
But both our Sales guys shrugged and said
“So what? Some pretty pics”!


(Grant 1996)384p


From our original geocities site now archived at http://www.oocities.org/hobb_it/entrer/home/8/PPS/pps.html