F.T.F. (Fort Tune Flight)

F.T.F. (Fort Tune Flight)

 I should really go onto Soundcloud and record this with a Scottish accent.
I thought I’d lost this poem but re-found it on a site which rescues web pages, along with the illustration of the characters.

Calum, (nee Dour)  – big mogul o’er
the Planet’s Media scene,
researched to do the scoopiest scoop
– the biggest ever seen!
“I’ll make a million / coin a mint,
all in one afternoon,
– with telescope and camera
and ticket to Dunoon.”
Far off the shore, of Loch Needmoor,
as said a leaked Report,
a gene soup nest of escapees
were living in a fort.
Their leader was a bloke gone wrong,
the locals called Nar Whilly,
– a sheep-duck-man-duck-sheep back cross
who’d gone a little silly.
He loved his fellow creatures,
though little else was clear,
whatever brought him to this spot,
whatever keeps him here.Calum, (nee Dour) upped anchor,
in his patchwork Quilt Balloon.
“I’ll make it ‘cross those waters,
if I rise above Fort Tune!”

But on that day, Nar Whilly Bang
was oot te bring him doon,
an’ in that watery deepy Loch
he wanted Dour te droon.

Wi’ Cannon Ball all Cherry Red
and recipes fer doom,
he was prepared te fight and win
te keep his shantytoon.

“Where would the one armed octopus
and two legged glow ball go,
if Dour came here and made the place
into a media show”?

And that’s the News this very hour
who’ll win we do not ken,
– we can’t collate tomorrow’s truth
through pictures, speech or pen.

If we ALL put fortune on our path
For nowt but private gain,
that cherry we term ‘Tomorrow’ is flawed
So we best all  think again!


Robert Lindsay – It’s a comical tale…really bizarre like a cartoon.. I thought Nessie was going to pop up but no – so well done.
I understood it perfectly, but then I’m from Edinburgh.
I’d say add a clever graphic and author’s recording to it Grant… and you’re sorted..